Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Path to Healing...

Pretty proud of the head and neck alignment!! Talk about breaking a bad habit! This took FORever!! 

So I thought I would post a little bit of insight into where I am at with the recovery from my ruptured disc in my cervical spine and the multiple other issues I came to find out I had along the way:). It has been a really long road of healing full of lots of tears and emotions. I have gone from doctor to doctor all the way to an orthodontist for severe TMD (this was causing my face numbness)...neurologist appointments,  nerve conduction tests...  This list goes on... And on.... And on. All in all for about 5 months I was spending around 10-12 hours a week just on healing myself/finding out the TRUE issues of what was wrong with me. I asked GOD to guide me through a path to heal.... I didn't ask to just magically wake up and feel perfect. I'm not sure why, but I am guessing because well, that would be too easy:).  I had to spend time each day doing exercises to create better posture and neck alignment... Basically $hit a toddler or 80 year old grandmother does ... this wasn't exactly fun nor did it burn more than 10 calories per hour I presume. Hardest part is I did this while watching my team train and progress while I laid on the ground squeezing my shoulder blades together for 3 sets of 15... how FUN right?! HELL NO!!! Not one damn bit. But that's what I had to heal... And that's what I did and AM STILL DOING:). All in all it has been the most overwhelming thing I have ever gone through in regards to working towards something you want so bad. I wanted to give up so many times.... Throw in the towel... right off me doing CrossFit.. I would tell myself "I wasn't made for this" "my body just can't handle it" " GOD just doesn't have this in his plan for me" you name it I said to myself over and over. I'd also tell this to my best friend Janna... Thank GOD I didn't just talk to myself and confided in her as well, or I'm not sure I would be moving forward towards being the athlete I have always desired like I am not. It was because of her that I stayed somewhat sane through it all...and when I say sane.... I mean that in the most serious way possible. I literally would have gone crazy. I am very grateful for that and her. She has been there with me every step of the way. Thanks Friend. 

Where am I now? I am now at the place where I have to be super smart and seriously patient. Feeling better most days. Still learning my "new body", meaning the Neuromuscular connection from my brain to my muscles is just different and not as strong. I am still in the process of learning how to stand, sit and walk differently. My top priority? Correct my posture and this is still in the works and not anywhere near where it needs to be. Although I am ready in my mind to rock out some heavy snatches and work on my ring muscle ups, I just can't. I could for sure perform BUT in the long run it would not put me where I really want to be in the end. I have to be even more careful now than before...which is that scariest and hardest part of all of this. I still have a lot of muscles compensating for one another and some serious motor control issues but at least I am on the road to recovery. I probably will not be doing the open next year...but I finally know that 2015 will be my best year yet. I just need to keep the path and remain patient!! I have always had to work really hard towards what I want, nothing has ever come easy for me and I am ok with that. I know in the end it makes me appreciate the success even more and really strong :)

So here is to what's ahead! Although I am still bummed 2014 won't be my year...I know that  all good things come to those who patiently wait and that my future is bright.  

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