Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
I've never been the best at taking time away. When I say not the best ... I mean like not good. I have issues unplugging truly (I mean I'm blogging on vacation right now... Whoops #leadfromthefront) Not because the lack of trust at all. I have the best team in the world.
I have always related spending time with myself selfish. Mostly just because I am not uber selfish person also ... It's never been natural to be like that. I feel such guilt taking a break when people need me. I know that sounds egotistical to some but it's true.
In this profession there's always something to do to help another person to be the better version of themself, and that's a hard thing to say NO to! Like really hard! Being a contributing factor into the changing of someone's life is such a gift. And it's super hard to unplug and essentially ignore them and worry about myself. Sounds even worse now that I type it out. Which explains a lot of the why in "why" I feel like this.
Bottom line is .... I can't enjoy life and allow for the best use my gifts if I don't allow myself to take just as much care as myself as I do everyone else. And not just a few times a year. This should happen regularly.
Pictured on the left is a pic from 2011. I am the same weight as the pic on the right (currently) and DAMN PROUD of my 145. I ate a lot less and I worked out lot more. I worried about the scale and stressed myself out to the max about being good enough at the sport I love #crossfit. So much that it drove me to feel unworthy to be a Coach, a Leader and Gym Owner.
I lifted heavier than I should, skipped scaling movements out of ego... I let my ego drive me. I wasn't consistent and made excuses. Failed to listen to those around me. A leader who hated herself behind closed doors and felt like a fraud who didn't practice watch she preached. It's safe to say I didn't truly appreciate the beauty that is #crossfit.
Fast forward to now... 145 and proud and letting #crossfit do its job.
I am officially following the pyramid of CrossFit. Am I embarrassed that it took me so long? Heck no. I wouldn't change it if I could. These lessons now allow me to relate to so many who have been in the same boat as me. I now have the tools necessary and they allow me to inspire and motivate so many.
The scale has and will always haunt me. Once weighing in close to 190#, I feel like that can only be normal right :). It's a great reminder to find things like this to remind myself how far I have come and how much I have to offer to the community.
Here's to where we are today and where we are going tmrw! This is your life! Make it what you wish!
I don't repost often from other blogs... But this hit me hard.
2.5 years of mistakes.
2.5 years of growing.
3 years of change.
3 years of lessons.
5.5 years of greatness in the making.
Lots of convincing. So many tears. Mistakes have been made.
Humble I remain.
My guard is down.
Ego no longer.
I am here to set the record straight.
I am here ... To.. #bethechange
Saddle Up #affiliates.
Saddle Up #coaches.
The change is near.
Lead. Or Be Lead.
The Professional Revolution
via theaffiliatesolution.com
"Scenario: The year is 2018. From humble beginnings, Crossfit has grown to an alliance of 20,000 professional, successful Affiliates. CrossFit is universally recognized as a safe, effective methodology, suitable for all ages and abilities. Affiliate owners enjoy the spoils of any successful business: financial freedom, family time, and regular vacations.
There is an absence of torn hands photos, Rhabdo is a forgotten myth, and using the term “Pre-bok” earns you a kick in the throat.
Cause: Somewhere around early 2015, Affiliate owners had a shared reckoning on the potential of their business to positively affect their member’s lives AND make them (& their coaches) a comfortable living. This coincided with the realization that there was no one “Right Way” to run an Affiliate; that each Affiliate required it’s own approach, as determined by universal best practices and innovative trial and error. With this, Affiliate owners spent their time intelligently developing their businesses to provide the highest quality experience, whilst also providing the owner/s with the lifestyles they deserve.
The masses celebrate in the streets.
Probability: High
It takes certain type of person to open a CrossFit Affiliate: a focused, motivated, hard working indivual. This is not the kind of person likely to accept the toxic falsity that you’ll never make money or experience freedom of time owning an Affiliate. They understand the potential of their business and will work relentlessly to achieve it. They block out the haters, doubters, trolls, and unsuccessful who would have them believe otherwise. It is because of these uniquely driven individuals."
It's one of those days...A PR kind of day. You feel it in your bones. You see max Back Squat programmed for today's WOD. It's your favorite lift. You know it coming and you're ready. You've already played it out in your head, the jumping, the excitement and all the compliments. You've worked your butt off and you deserve it. You are worthy. It's your TIME to PR.
So you show up to the gym a little early to get really mobile and warm. Other athletes can even see it in your eyes, the focus, the intensity. Your Coach goes through the WOD explanation demo and now it's party time. Time to PR. Time to prove to yourself you can do this.
And you don't. Nowhere close. Hinge and touching your face off (actually a$$ on haha), pigeon every night. You've been focusing on form first... What the HECK happened. You are so bummed out that doing the Metcon isn't something that even interests you. You actually would rather just leave the gym all together. Grab a pint of HD (Haagen-Dazs) and eat your PR sorrows away. I mean that's what it feels like right? Complete and udder let down. 100%. You have failed.... Right?
WRONG!
Why does a PR always have to be related to weight when it comes to our lifts? Or total reps when it comes to pull ups or muscle ups. Whatever happened to doing CrossFit with grace and perfection? I happen to think that an athlete who has decided to step up their game, re-focus and really work on proper form first will have PR's happening all the time and they will get totally overlooked.
-Driving your knees out while squatting below parallel ... PR.
-Keeping a proper front rack during FRAN.... PR.
-Looking straight - NOT looking up at the top of your pull up for the ENTIRE WOD... PR.
-External rotation for the first time pushing out of your muscle up... PR.
I could go on and on.
2 Years Ago
3 Months Ago
I happen to think someone who devotes their time and energy to really focusing on form will always overcome. It is just a matter of time. And a lot of time at that. The type of patience it takes is mind blowing. I can testify to that, as I am personally going through it myself. Ya yahhh so you didn't PR your back squat ..... I mean it might be even 100# less and a front squat at that .. But it's precise. And it's beautiful. It represents CrossFit the way it should be. YOU represent CrossFit the way it should be. The smallest things can be a PR ... Don't forget to remind yourself of that. Focus on why you started this sport we all love.
"Physicians are lifeguards. Trainers are swim coaches. When you need a lifeguard, you need a lifeguard, not a swim coach. But, if you need a lifeguard, you probably needed a swim coach and didn’t get one. " Greg Glassman
I want to be the Coach that is giving people the tools to improve their own lives. So that hopefully they will never need that lifeguard to jump in and save them. To me this is what CrossFit is all about. It is not about who's "brand" is bigger than who's. Who box has the better this that or the other. It's not about which gym went to the games. When you pay to go to a good CrossFit gym, one that embraces the CrossFit Community as a whole, you can tell the difference. And its never about the equipment nor the level of athleticism. Its about the Coaches, the people, and the community.
BOX OWNERS never let anyone change that!!! Don't compare your box and your Coaching. JUST BE OPEN to learn and GROW. Stay your ground and fight for what you believe in. It is disappointing to even have to say that, but its just where it has gone.
I have and will always do everything in my power to keep the CrossFit name held high. Not because I have to, but because I want to. You see... to me its on its own level. Top of the pedestal. Top of the food chain. I say this not because I am a part of "the colt" or want to "be cool and hardcore". Not EVEN close. It's because I believe in the passion and soul that stands behind it. I believe that the right people with the same passion will keep the CrossFit name standing strong. Together we will all continue to slowly but aggressivly change the world like we were sought out to do.....One athlete at a time.
CrossFit Coaches and Owners all over the world.... pass it on...
Be HUMBLY AWARE of your weaknesses. Lead from the front first. Learn something new EVERYDAY and NEVER take this amazing blessing of changing lives for granted. #BETHECHANGE
If you are a Coach or Owner looking for guidance of any kind, please feel free to reach out to me, someone.... anyone. The true believers, #OGCrossFitters will help without the blink of an eye and will find excitement in doing so! All you have to do is ask for help.... its that simple. #doit
Every Tuesday and Thurdsay morning I am blessed to Coach an irreplaceable, and amazing group of athletes in my early morning #compRX program. These athletes are all different in so many ways, but that's what makes this class so special to me. I can relate to each athlete in some form. They challenge me WEEKLY to be a better Coach and Leader and I am truly grateful for that. They trust me and admire me as their mentor. They call me Coach and they mean it. I am not sure what I would do with out this crew. All I know is that I am thankful beyond measure .... And I've wanted to share this for a while now. Today seemed like the perfect day :-) love you guys:-)! #family
Thank you Fallon for keeping me on my toes and for never letting me give up. For teaching and believing in me, that the Lord has great plans for me.
Thank you Dee for your 100% undying loyalty and dedication to me and #CFRR.
Thank you Shelly for believing in my vision. For learning and growing to help so many others.
Thank you Shane for your focus and detication. For sticking with me since day 1 and never giving up on me.
Thank you Lisa for your trust and love. For being there for me in more ways than one. For holding me accountable, for being my #aplhafriend :-)
Thank you Diana for your dedication to me and CFRR. For your fire and cheerful nature. For you undying support in me. For believing in me and my vision. For all your hard work and tunnel vision focus.
Thank you LL for your relentless "no bitching" positive attitude. For trusting and allowing me to guide you in this process. For never giving in and for being a fighter for what you want.
Thank you Chris for the constant inspiration. Thank you for your open mind and patience with me as your peer. Thank you for believing in me and for showing me that there's more to all of this thing we call Coaching. #lifechangers
Thank you Charlie for your constant belief in me as your Coach. For letting me win here and there :) for truly embrassing all that I throw your way.
Thank you Trevor for your quiet yet powerful showing of Faith. It has brought new life to me, to the class and to many athletes. Without you even knowing....
Thank you Erin for you open arms and open mind. For having such a natural desire to learn and grow. For believing in what #CFRR embodies.
Thank you Tara for being another little sister I never had. For always being there for me. For believing in me when many didn't. For your love and loyalty. I am truly thankful for you and all you do for me, Landon and CFRR.
The human body is an absolutely amazing compensation
machine. Even in a terrible position, it makes us able to generate huge amounts
of force without immediate repercussions. But no matter who you are, no matter
how much tissue work or mobility you do, if you don't grasp the importance of
this you will pay the price eventually. Everyone does. I know it’s hard to
hear, and you may not believe me now, and that's fine. I realize how annoying
it is to want to get a workout in and here we are as coaches trying to teach
you something that makes you feel as if there is no benefit. THINK AGAIN! If
you aren't willing to do it for those crazy scary reasons, maybe you will do it
to look 7 pounds lighter. Maybe you'll do it when you realize how many muscles
you aren't using, which in turn means you’re not putting on muscle, which in
turn means you aren't burning NEAR as many calories as you could be.
HOLD for a second.....
Just to clear the air... this is just the tip of the iceberg
when it comes to the importance of proper posture and bracing your spine. I
have decided to go another route with this for obvious reasons. We are human.
How we look in the mirror obviously plays a large part in why we workout. Do
you start to feel good as you start to look better? Hell yeah... but most don't
join a gym to just "feel good". This is 2015, let’s be real here!
Check out the photo on the left showing proper(ish) good posture. Now keep in mind I am still a work in progress here. Not to mention I took this picture in 2.5 seconds and my pants are crooked #awesome. These photos were taken today 20 seconds apart. Straight KRAY! Which way would you want your summer va-kay pics documented??? I vote the pic on the right ANY day of the week on the beach or NOT! Hands down.
Now .... I am going to dive into this a bit. ONE.... because it's my blog and I can. TWO.....I haven't even told you how to fix this yet. So unless you don't care about looking 5-10 pounds lighter with little to no work at all, by all means, close this page and I wish you good luck in the many years of bad posture to come (with love of course) . Moving on...
Check out the side before and after pics on the left of me – my stomach and butt are pushed out as far as they will go – dead sexy right? I think not. This posture forces the pelvis to twist forward. You can tell just by trying to draw an imaginary straight line from the front of my paints to the back. Yeah that baby ain't straight. Check out that tilt! #solidgold
Along with making me look about 5-7 pounds heavier full of gluten filled Oreo's and milk, it forces the spine into a curve making it so much weaker and much more prone to injury.
Give this a Try-
Hold your stomach in and make the belly button go all the way back to your spine, you will have to flex your abs to do this. At the same time, pivot your hips forward and try to tuck your butt underneath your belly button. It should feel like your "shrink wrapping" your belly. Ladies imagine you are wearing the tightest white dress ever and you forgot your SPANX! With some practice, this will become more natural. Have your Coach, friend or spouse give you reminders when you lapse back into your old posture. Now it does take some practice and A LOT of patience to make this good posture a habit, but at least you'll look lighter and leaner when your next summer vacation time hits!
Summer Summer Summer time is here! You know what that means .... Travel time!!! Many of you will be hitting the road or traveling by air this summer to some seriously fun places. The last thing you want to do is arrive to your destination feeling poopy, bloated and with no fuel! No thank you!! Not to mention you've got to have some cals saved for beaching and boozing right?! It is all about picking and choosing when it's a lifestyle right:).
That being said, I thought I’d share some snack packing ideas with you! If you’re traveling long stretches, consider your snacks as meal replacements and choose wisely. Remember this a lifestyle!! You have the choice and it's worth it!!
What do you like to keep ready to fill that belly when you travel?!
People spend money and make time for what's most important to them.... PERIOD. No matter how little or how much you of each you have... It will always come down to that.
As a CrossFit Coach, Personal Trainer and Gym Owner I have heard every excuse under the sun. Now don't get me wrong, there are legit times when people can't afford or make time for a trainer and/or membership to a gym. That being said, in the last almost 9 years in this industry, 95% of them are excuses. You might be thinking "how the hell do you know that... You don't know the whole story", well if I am being honest, any good trainer or coach SHOULD. And that's why I can call BS on a lot of those who find money and lack of time to blame for not reaching their best version of themself. I had very very little turnover as a trainer in my past and even now as a Coach at CFRR. 95% of those who blamed money and lack of time where the ones who NEVER put their heath and fitness first. Never wanted to log food and were the no show clinet that left me waiting for an hour for them to show. Coincidence? I think not. Let me show you an excuse and I'll show you why it's just that... AN EXCUSE. #boomshakalaka
1. I don't have enough money and I need the accountability of a gym and/or trainer. I can't afford to eat healthy.
You see, a lot of people have this illusion that individuals who can afford things like a CrossFit membership, Personal Training healthy grub etc are wealthy. I couldn't agree LESS! Truly wealthy people have a Personal Trainer or Coach travel with them on yaughts all over the world to hold them accountable. When they aren't traveling around in yaughts, back at home, they have a massive gym of their own and hire a full time trainer in which they pay a 6 figure income so they are exclusive to them and them only. THAT's what "rich" people do. Yeah true story. Trust me I've seen it. And no.... I am not talking celebrities here. Average people with massive incomes who put their health and wellness first in a massive way. Us Average not so wealthy aka "poor folk" are a different story. We have to plan. We have to budget. We have to pick and choose what's most important. For some odd reason, a $149 membership and spending money on grassfed meat seems unfathomable!!!! Not even worth trying to find a way to make it work in fact. They write it OFF. This blows my mind and is hard for me to understand.
"American spending at restaurants & bars just overtook grocery purchases for first time ever since 1992." http://t.co/khqWaleuVb
Do I really need to touch on this? The trend is a visable legit statistic here. I always challenge people who say they can't afford eating healthy and paying for fitness accountability (aka a GOOD CrossFit gym) by telling them to print out a month of their bank statement and highlight when they eat out. I even offer to help them look it over and figure out a plan. You would be shocked how many people would rather not do this JUST to avoid the coming to Jesus moment when they realize "OH CRAP! I spent $900 at restaurants and bars last Month!" No bueno. Check yo self!!!!
2. TIME - "I just can't make it in so its just a waste of money. I have so much to do. It's just all too much"
No time to exercise, train, or plan ahead to eat healthy. Life has LOTS of other priorities; children, family, friends, career, business, television, social media, sleep. There just isn’t enough hours in the day to get it all done.
It's not a priority. Period. I get up at 4:15 in the morning to get my workout in. Do I enjoy my alarm waking me up when the rest of the world sleeps? Hell no. Would I rather be sleeping? You best your A$$ I would!!! But this is what has to be done. And this is a choice I make so I can ensure it gets done. Period. No excuses. No I don't have kids. Your right. Blaming it on kids is even worse. You either make it happen. Or you don't. #sorryimnotsorry
3. "I am not getting ANY results, I'm not getting better. "
This one KILLS me!! Every singe time I ask someone "So when was your last body comp?" Or "Let's look at your book, when was your last PR?" They HAVEN'T had a body comp in who knows how long and have written in their books for month. People would rather skip a body fat test or the process to write down goals to ensure they are staying the right path! Avoiding any and all accountability with their Coach. Not writing down workouts. Not caring. Not food preping etc. the list goes ON. Its self sabatoge in the worst form and is something that happens far to often. What really holding you back? You sure it's not YOU? Are you really allowing yourself to achieve what you deserve?
4. Is it really that important to YOU?
Not truly understanding and believing how imporant exercise and eating well are needed for health and longevity to allow yourself to live the best version of you is IMPERATIVE!!! For a lot of people just plain being in know is enough and can do WONDERS! No one can convince you to truly change and to live a healthy life if you don't believe in it!! So what do you do? Take some time to really educate yourself on why you should make it a priority. Everyone is different. Some people don't need a gym at all! They find other ways to hold themselves accountable. Find what motivates you and YOU WILL FLY! It's not hard to find motivation you just have to be ready and willing to dive into it! Can't find it? Then maybe you simply just need to ask someone to help you with it. Asking for help isn't as hard as you may think. Set your pride to the side! Surround yourself with the right people and I promise you, you will have no choice but to reach greatness!
I am going to apologize in advance if I offend anyone with this post. I have restrained myself long enough and I can't handle it anymore. If you can feel me yelling while writing this..then I wrote it well :) I feel as if it's my duty being an "OG CrossFitter" to make sure the #crossfit name is held high and strong. This $HIT changed my life and has changed the lives of so many, but it's also NO JOKE and SERIOUS $HIT at an elite level. When WRONG people with the WRONG expectations sign up for it, you can pretty much expect a recipe for disaster for a Box, a Coach and the new Athlete. These people CAN and WILL destroy the amazingness that is CrossFit. And it has to be talked about.
I'm going to make this post really simple as I could talk about it for hours. The truth is CrossFit is definitely not for everybody. And before I go any further, I want to clarify who I'm actually referencing to. I am NOT referencing somebody who has had hip replacement surgery. I am NOT referencing a 52 year old female that has never lifted a loaded barbell in her life NOR am I referencing somebody who is morbidly obese. Have one less limb? Still NOT the person I am referencing.
None of the above determines (in my opinion of course) whether or not CrossFit is for you. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
So that being said, who exactly shouldn't do CrossFit?
(Again, this is just my opinion, sorry if anyone is offended, but its the truth as I see it. )
- Someone who thinks they know it all and is not willing to work to change bad habitsaka WON'T and DON'T think they NEED to USE a PVC PIPE or no weight even for that matter. This annoys me more than anything in the world. I seriously can't even handle it. If you can't move your damn body right, WHY the hell do you think you can move 95#'s? Our bodies are compensation machines. If you don't learn the proper mechanics THIS SHIT WILL F@CK you up!! Yeah that's right I said it!! You don't see someone learning how to snowboard and the first week they jump on a black and just "ride that baby down". Yeah, no way... they WOULD DIE!! For REALZZZZZ.
- Someone who is looking to swing on the rings....press, jerk or snatch a $HIT ton of weight overhead within the first 6- 12 months of joining. If you are lifting RX weight or doing kipping pull ups when you can't do ONE STRICT and just started CrossFit, I would take a second to look at your current Box or current Coach. This SHOULD NOT be happening. Did this use to happen at CFRR? YES! I will admit it, now it is STRICTLY enforced with ALL my Coaches and I TAKE it very seriously. NOW ... Is there that special freak of nature that is the 99.99999% of the world. YES, I won't go any further on this subject.
*****SIDE NOTE- CrossFit Coaches across the world need to stop being Cheerleaders and letting people do whatever the hell they want. It is YOUR JOB to protect the longevity of these people. Teach them the mechanics and be prepared to ask them to leave if they don't want to. When someone gets hurt CrossFit and YOU are blamed in the end. Period DOT DONE!!!!! This is YOUR job. Hold yourself to that STANDARD. Hold your BOX to that standard. CrossFit and the community surrounding it does.
- Someone who can't REALLY leave their EGO at the door. Be real here. CAN YOU? If you can't then don't even waste your money coming to my box. We are too busy changing the lives of people who are willing and open to letting us. At CFRR we pour OUR HEART AND SOUL into our community. It is our life .. AND WE LOVE IT! We don't need that negative poison invading our space! Just want to look cool and do what's cool. Not the right person. Not even a little. #sorryimnotsorry
- Someone FULL of EXCUSES. It blows my mind the amount of excuses someone can have stored in their "pocket" at all times. "I can't do _____ cause of _____" This will GET you no where and is one of the most negative and ANNOYING things a Coach can deal with. You might as well just punch us in the face 10 times as fast as possible, Rocky style, in front of the whole class. It's equally just as terrible and as embarrassing as that. This will always bring down the entire moral of the class and makes for a constant wall between the Athlete and the Coach.
- Someone who IS NOT willing to determine and work on their weaknesses. Ya so if this is you, well CrossFit just isn't for you. ESPECIALLY not my gym. CrossFit will NOT ONLY point out EVERY weakness you have, it WILL FORCE you to WORK on them. Period. How you sit, how you stand, how you eat, how you interact with a group....EVERYTHING. "This place will change you, if you let it"
- Someone who constantly compares themselves to others. This is a hard one for me, as it took me a long time to stop doing this in every aspect of CrossFit, including the business end of things. There was a time when I didn't know if I would choose to CrossFit again, because I hated it. I hated how it made me feel because I never felt as if I was good enough. So guess who I blamed? CrossFit.....And guess what I did daily? COMPARED myself to others. CONSTANTLY. If you are someone who does this or is currently doing this and CrossFitting, I can't stress enough how important it is to be thankful for your STRENGTHS and STOP beating yourself up for your weaknesses. We all have them. The more you compare THE MORE you will drive yourself mentally away from THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVERY HAPPENED TO YOU! The thing that CHANGED YOUR LIFE. You will drive yourself away from CrossFit. And you will regret it. It's the truth.
The greatest problem in America today is not so much the presence of darkness as it is the absence of light. #faith
While eating lunch this past Sunday afternoon, a little girl from our street knocked on my door selling homemade lemonade. My first reaction was "Wow...her parents let her do that?"
"While door-to-door solicitation is a big confidence builder for children, it causes potential risks for child safety, even within the confines of your own neighborhood.” National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
Then I took a second and remembered how much I walked my Round Rock neighborhood growing up doing the exact same thing. Going door to door to "sell them" on my babysitting and pet sitting business, face painting booths, magazines for my kickball team, crafts I had made..you name it..I tried to sell it:) This is something that as a child and young adult that I LOVED to do. I really looked forward to my afternoons walking the neighborhood, meeting new people and trying to convince them to buy something from me :)
Fast forward to 2015 and it is obvious our world has become so misguided that it's such a rare occasion that you see this sort of thing now a days. I mean this had to have been the 2nd ever a young'n knocked on our door to sell something or raise money for something. It really saddened me when I thought about it. Would I be the female entrepreneur that I am today? Would I have the same want and drive to grow and develop a small business and then some? Although it sounds corny, I believe this small part of my life helped mold me into the business woman and entrepreneur I am today.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
“Athletes that respect themselves don’t sleep on their stomachs” Kelly Starrett #truthbomb
As someone who is a "freefaller" it's definitely not easy to read something like that from the all mighty Kelly Starrett! I must be honest, sleeping on my belly makes me happy (or so I think) and its something I have been battling for a long time now. I'm pretty sure I've tried almost everything to change the way I sleep.
Going into this surgery I knew I would have no choice but to sleep on my back. This made me excited! I knew I could kinda start fresh and remedy to the constant chronic pain in my neck, upper traps, shoulders and not to mention get better at this sport I love so much CrossFit. Well I lasted about 17 days. Today I am officially 3 weeks post opp and this past Monday I woke up on my left side/belly without a pillow. Fast forward to today and I again have given myself chronic shoulder and neck pain. Like I am talking worse than my surgery pain!! It's STUPID!! All because of my sleeping position!! So annoying!!! Lifting my arm hurts, turning my head hurts, my TMD is killing me and I have a constant headache.
I have to make a change.... and NOW! But just like buying a new pair of running sneakers to aid sore knees, it’s only putting a bandage on the situation. To remedy the problem, the form must be corrected AND FOR GOOD!!
So I am going to attempt to try one more pillow (I've tried 5 now). This is supposed to be the "training wheels" of pillows and helps to teach those who sleep on their tummy to not. So waking up finding myself on my stomach SHOULD be pretty much impossible.We shall see.... I am pretty used to getting what I want;) Check out the pic of this bad boy below.... It's no joke! hahaaha
Therapeutica Sleeping Pillow
I will keep you posted on how it goes. Hopefully I can get used to this weird thing aka pillow and find myself in less pain. I truly value my sleep and just want the best for this body of mine:)
Here is a great video from KStar about sleep positions and some mobility as well! Enjoy!
I thought I might as well go ahead and share with all of you why am not signed up for the CrossFit Open this year. I know a lot of you have seen my videos and such on Instagram and it's probably kind of confusing to not see my name under CrossFit Round Rock Team Roster.... so I wanted to kind of clear the air and share where I am at and kinda what's going on. I have been in some weird pain for the last 3 months or so. I honestly thought it had to do with my neck injury, compensation and coming back to competing etc. but come to find out it was the complete opposite.
On March 26 I will be having surgery to repair my left implant that has ruptured. I am very grateful that my mammogram and sonogram showed healthy breast tissue and just the rupture. My grandmother had a double mastectomy at 41, so going in for that appointment was terrifying to say the least. I put it off for 3 months because it truly scared me so much. Thank GOD it was just my implant being ruptured! Although it does suck, it is totally fixable and I am so thankful that is all it was. Lots of chest work when I should have been smarter given I had implants is to blame and for that I will be smarter the next go around:)
For the last 8 months or so I have been training hard to get myself to the best shape I could possibly be. I love competing and I love training for competition.... I love training for CrossFit! I LOVE having a Coach. I love the accountability. I love that consistency. I love the plan. Sure working out just for aesthetics and fun is realistic for a lot of people .... It's just not the drive I want or need. I have realized that all of the other stuff is what is fun to me! And one of the main reasons I was so drawn to CrossFit and grow deeper and deeper in love with it!
You see I'm just the type of person that really wants to be getting better at any given point. Whether it be getting better at a plank or a strict press or a row whatever it is.... I just like my workouts to have a purpose for growth in the realm of fitness. I like to work through my weaknesses. I ache to see my accomplishments show face after hard work and dedication. Training for more than a purpose of aesthetics has put me in such a more healthy place with my body and mental health. Coming from severe eating disorder's it's nice to put my energy and perfection into something that creates the "better" not the worse.
I have found within the last week or so that I really don't even remember how to eat while not working out. I find myself slipping back in and out of that dark place with food and bad eating habits more than my normal once a day tendency. "Once a day" is something I'm used to, and something I've wrapped my mind around dealing with for the rest of my life..... but 5-10 times a day.... Is something I am really trying to plan and prepare for.... It's no easy battle ... and the demons are real and there.
"So your not training or working out ... You know you can't eat much....you haven't earned it...."
"Is that Apple really something you need ...really... right now ... "
"I will skip lunch today ....so I can eat more when I am relaxing at home ... Shit that's 7 hours from now.... I can do it... I can suck it up ..."
Everyday I battle with these demons. And now it's just worse. I was eating for performance, and now here I am about to not workout for 4-6 weeks. F@ckkkkkkkk!!!!
So what do I do?
I plan. I journal. I prep. I pray. I make new goals. I hold myself accountable.
To me being a life changing Coach means you love to do all of those things. That you love to get better and to put yourself out there and work on your weaknesses and admit your faults. I will always have a want to train for something....to better myself and show growth.... Always. That's just me. Whether I was training to a be figure competitor or to have leaner arms. Whether it was to fit in to a certain size of jeans..... I ALWAYS had a goal but it was always aesthetics. CrossFit took that away. CrossFit gave me the ability to train for something that is functional and truly meaningful. CrossFit gave me my life back. Gave me the ability to train for something that is for the better of me, my health and my body. Instead of how I look in the mirror or how I fit into that certain something.
So when something like CrossFit is taken away from me ... Even for a short period of time ...The risk of my relapsing is risky. Especially now. There isn't a wedding dress to fit into or a next competition. Nada.
So what's my plan? Well now it's just time to go back to reminding myself how far I have come with my nutrition. How my dedication to fueling my body is above all else the best it has ever been. That I couldn't be in a better place with being in tune with my body in knowing what it does and doesn't need. That food is still needed. That I still need fuel.... And that I do DESERVE to eat.
I will be checking back in to share some of the goodies I will be stocking up on to ensure I have some healthy treats to keep me on track. This is important both mentally and emotionally for me when I will feel the need to be not over sacrificing. This will help me from getting to that point where I feel the need to binge from starving myself all day or by restricting myself SO MUCH on foods that I don't really want nor like.
I know that everything in my life is all about learning and growing for the greater purpose and for that I am grateful that the Lord above has given me the ability to do so through this experience! I look forward to all the growth that is ahead as I tackle these demons head on and beat them once again!
